My Little Needle: A-Rod & Outside Eyes

To say that the last year has not been a particularly pleasant one for New York Yankee’s slugger Alex Rodriguez might be the understatement of the decade.  Let’s quickly recap:

• A divorce from his wife Cynthia in mid-2008 amid rumors of marital infidelity with Madonna (apparently one of the unknown side effects of steroids is permanent beer goggles), a rumor later denied by the Material Girl herself;
• A scathing reference in former manager Joe Torre’s book The Yankee Years as “A-Fraud” (a play on his nickname “A-Rod”), which was released in early February, just days prior to a Sports Illustrated article that alleged (later confirmed through semi-admission) that Rodriguez had used performance enhancing drugs during a stint with the Texas Rangers; and
• Finally, a recent report that the most ridiculously paid baseball player in the history of the game has torn his labrum (that joke is just too easy, it’s actually cartilage that lines the socket of a hip joint) and could miss up to four months of the upcoming season if it requires immediate surgery to repair.

What is a huge public figure like Alex Rodriguez to do when life has got him down?  Well, what did The McCain do when he was saddled with Sarah Palin as a running mate?  Turn to the experts.  That is correct.  It has come to my recent attention that the same public relations firm, Newport Beach-based Outside Eyes, that handled press for Alaskan government Sarah Palin during the 2008 presidential campaign has been retained by Alex Rodriguez  to sway public opinion in favor of the supercilious third-baseman.

Outside Eyes (pardon the upcoming baseball term) is literally stacked with talent.  A veritable who’s-who of conservative spin-doctors utilize a “War Room” to avert the public relations nightmares inherent in presidential campaigns involving Sarah Palin, wars, natural disasters, indictments, or with enough money, they can manage communications for a media backlash against a pompous, lying, cheating windbag who just happens to be the one of the greatest hitters in our national pastime.

The founder of Outside Eyes, Reed Pickens, is a former Assistant Press Secretary for the second President Bush, and his partner Ben Porritt also served in the Bush administration before serving as the Press Secretary to House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, until DeLay was indicted for violating campaign finance laws and forced to step down from his vaunted position.  I was truly fascinated by this company, but there is very little information to be gathered on the various PR campaigns they have conducted, the mechanisms through which they have conducted them, and what the hell are they going to be able to do for Alex Rodriguez.

So what exactly is my problem with one of the most well-known athletes in the United States being represented by the same PR firm that represented the Republican presidential campaign?  I don’t have one, but if Outside Eyes’ batting average for positive/useful representation of clients continues to hold, I sure feel sorry for Alex Rodriguez, cause we all know how well The McCain did in 2008, and how exactly do we feel about Tom DeLay now?   Oh well, batter up!